MORE RESOLUTIONS

This year I resolve to offer you all more lists of “must-do” for your pleasure (or otherwise!).
This first list will be about the unknown “truths” about characters from Scripture.

          #1—St Joseph.  He never speaks a single word that is recorded in Scripture.  He obeys unquestioningly and works hard at his career.  Let’s be honest:  isn’t that the ideal husband for many women???!!!

          #2—St Peter.  He is the “rock,” but he’s also unstable as quicksand.  From big talk at the Last Supper to terror in the Garden of Gethsemane and in the high priest’s courtyard (a serving girl intimidated him), his mouth precedes his mind all too often.  He is the model for Ralph Kramden of “The Honeymooners.”

          #3—The prophet Elisha.  Teased by children because he’s bald, he conjures up a bear to eat them (II Kings 2:23ff—I can’t make this stuff up).  He’s the patron “saint” of everyone having a bad hair day.

          #4—The ox and the ass of Bethlehem.  They were close to the Child, breathing on Him.  Choosing to keep Him warm?  No—they were trying to nudge Him to the side so they could eat.  After all, it’s called a “manger” (French manger; Italian mangiare; to eat) for a reason.

          #5—Moses.  His wife, Zipporah, bore him a son: Gershom.  They were the real reason he spent 40 years in the desert with the Israelites.

          #6—Tobiah’s dog.  He followed throughout the whole story (a “There and Back Again” before Tolkien thought of this title), and there he was at the end of the journey.  Truly man’s best friend!  [footnote:  there is much comedy and much that is touching in this story—you should read it and enjoy it.]

          #7—The prophet Amos.  “I was no prophet...I am a shepherd and dresser of sycamores...” (Amos 7:14).  Who knew that trees needed to have clothing?  I guess they were working as runway models...

          #8—St Matthew.  The tax-collector, he was enlisted by Jesus and assured Him, “You can count on me/And I can count for you!”  Jesus never paid another shekel of tax in His life (the story of Matthew 17:24ff doesn’t count as the $$ came from a fish).  Long live creative accounting.  [another footnote:  it is not well known that Matthew 5-7 was originally titled the “Sermon on the Amount.”]

          #9—St Mary Magdalene.  Contrary to the song from Jesus Christ Superstar, yes—she knew how to love Him! 

#10—Samuel.  The real reason Hannah left him with Eli was that he had colic.  She waited until he was weaned (given the context, probably 3 months!), and then she dropped him off.  If Eli could ridicule her, I guess he had the talent to entertain the child.